9. Judy Shepard

Last Thursday evening, I went to see Judy Shepard speak on campus as part of StaND Against Hate week. I had prepared myself all day for a depressing speech, given what I knew about Judy Shepard and her son's murder in 1998, but her lecture was actually really hopeful and empowering over all.

One of the things that I found most interesting about Judy's story that was relevant to her mothering was her description of her reaction when her son Matthew came out to her during his first year of college. She told us how he called her in the middle of the night and told her that he was gay, to which she responded, "What took you so long to tell me?" She described the way she was accepting of his sexuality from the beginning. He had asked her not to tell his father because he wanted it to be a part of his coming out process, but she told him anyway so that he could warm up to the idea. According to Judy, that didn't take long either, and they as parents completely accepting of his decisions from there on out. Perhaps the story has changed over time, or maybe given the events that have passed since then, she paints a more accepting picture of herself, a more flattering picture of herself in her mind. Either way, I couldn't help but think about what a nice story it was, how nice it was to hear this woman speaking so highly of her son in reference to--rather than in spite of--his sexuality. So many members of that generation are so closed minded because of the way they were raised or because it was "a different world back then," and I found Judy really refreshing.

I'm not sure I've ever heard someone who is a. straight and b. not a trained public speaker speak so beautifully and so passionately about gay rights and the importance of fighting for equality for everyone. I am so glad that I went to the lecture, and equally glad that I got to learn a little bit about her family and their story.

http://www.matthewshepard.org/